From grief to grounding: reclaiming lost parts and building what matters

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Hey there Visionaries!

Last week was one I’m still a bit raw from.

I drove down to Seattle for a memorial service. My friend Kyle from the party days passed away unexpectedly.

I wasn't ready for what happened next.

Why You Should Care:

• Reclaiming Your Past: Sometimes you have to revisit old ground to collect the parts of yourself you left behind

• Mutual Aid in Action: Real community support showed up three times this week in ways that matter

• Digital Surveillance Reality: This week in Beyond The Matrix, we covered how you're being tracked and what to actually do about it

• Critical Thinking Launch: My new course goes live this weekend at a price you won't see again

The Memorial That Broke Me Open

Walking into that memorial, I wasn't expecting to feel... seen.

Kyle brought people together. That's what he did. Wild drug use aside, the community he built was genuine. Real. People showed up not just to mourn, but to celebrate a life that touched so many others.

And then it happened.

People I hadn't seen in years, maybe a decade, came up to me. Through their grief, they chose to tell me how much I'd impacted their lives. The conversations we had. The nights I DJ'd that changed something for them. The friendship I offered when they needed it most.

I'd forgotten about all of it.

That era of my life, roughly a third of it, I'd kind of... closed the door on. Locked it up. Told myself it was survival, which it was. I had to walk away from the scene, the drugs, the chaos to build my foundation with my wife.

And I'm proud of what we built.

But standing there at that memorial, I realized I'd also walked away from real connections. Beautiful experiences. Deep friendships. Parts of myself I'd left behind because the pain was too much to carry.

After the service, I wandered through my old stomping grounds. Pioneer Square. Contour. Trinity. Last Supper Club. Places where I used to DJ until 4am, where the music was everything.

I even took the Seattle Underground Tour for the first time. Forty bucks I could never afford back then. Got to see the history beneath the streets I used to walk, high and broke and searching for belonging.

Ended up at my old loft without even trying. Then somehow found myself outside Jules Maes, the restaurant where I cooked for years. Just... visiting ghosts.

On the drive home, I put one track on repeat.

And I cried for 90min straight.

All the emotions I'd been holding, all the grief and shame and love and loss, it just came pouring out. The dam broke. I let myself feel all of it.

By the time I got home, something shifted.

I had this vision, clear as day. Every version of myself from every year of my life, standing in a line behind me. Some crying. Some broken. Some full of that wild party energy. Each one holding the shoulder of the person in front of them.

Community. Connection. Showing up for each other.

Mutual Aid Showed Up Three Times This Week

Sunday morning, I got a message from two women here in town. They'd seen me help harvest chickens a few weeks back and asked if I could come help them.

Heck yes.

Spent 2hrs Sunday afternoon at this backyard farm. One of them has built an Airbnb farm experience in a residential area. Fresh eggs. Garden space. The whole setup.

But she's burnt out.

Trying to do it all herself. Every day. No breaks. No support.

I told her straight up, "This is exactly why mutual aid groups exist. You're not supposed to do this alone. Homesteading is too much work for one person. People want the experience. People want the eggs. Let them help you."

Her eyes lit up.

That's three mutual aid conversations in one week:

• The backyard farmer who needs hands

• My Fire and Smoke men's circle where I pitched the idea (they're starting their own group)

• Planning a Mutual Aid Speed Network event at the start of next year

It starts with neighbors helping neighbors with the actual work.

And speaking of my men's circle, that gathering last

night reminded me why I keep showing up. Strong men. Skilled at being vulnerable. Real conversations around a fire.

Three simple rules:

1. Confidentiality. What's said at the fire stays at the fire.

2. Don't give unsolicited advice. Let people ask for what they need.

3. No topic is off limits. We're adults. We can handle real talk.

That's the space where healing happens.

THINK FOR YOURSELF: The Critical Thinking Course I Wish I Had at 16

Look. The system doesn't want you to think critically.

It wants you compliant. Predictable. Easy to manipulate.

Schools don't teach you how to question authority. How to spot propaganda. How to examine your own beliefs and figure out which ones are actually yours.

So I built the course I wish someone had given me at 16.

THINK FOR YOURSELF: The Critical Thinking System They Never Taught You in School

This isn't theory. It's practical tools you can use every single day to:

• Understand the world without getting manipulated

• Spot cult behavior and groupthink before you're in too deep

• Examine media messages and figure out what's actually true

• Question your own thoughts and beliefs to make sure they're really yours

Multiple learning formats. Reading. Watching. Listening. AI tools to help you integrate the information so it's not just sitting in your head but actively changing how you move through the world.

Short. Direct. No fluff.

This weekend is my birthday. I'm turning 46.

So for this week, the course is $46.

After that, the price goes up.

Grab it here: LINK TO COURSE

Got teenagers? This is what they need before they hit 18. Got a brain that feels like it's being played? This is how you take your power back.

Beyond The Matrix: Week 9 - Digital Freedom and Escaping the Panopticon

This week we covered digital surveillance and how every app you use is tracking you to modify your behavior. Your phone knows where you go, what you read, how long you pause on ads. That data gets sold to build a psychological profile of you.

We talked about practical ways to break free without going off-grid. Small changes that put you back in control.

Sign up for the next live cohort and get THINKING FOR YOURSELF FREE. 

If you're tired of being the product, more details coming in the next weeks.

Market Season: $5K in Two Days

My wife crushed it this weekend.

Two days of vending at her first holiday markets. $5,000 in sales.

Her handmade clothing, blankets, and scarves through Ahzalhea continue to prove that people want quality, intentional goods made by real humans.

My wife and I are deep in the holiday market grind right now. Every weekend packed. But watching her connect with customers, seeing people light up whe

n they touch the fabric, that's why I do this work.

Not for algorithms. Not for venture capital. For real exchanges between real people.

Today’s Takeaways:

1. Reclamation Isn't Optional: You can't outrun your past. You have to go back, collect those parts, and integrate them into who you're becoming.

2. Mutual Aid Is the Answer: People helping people. That's how we survive what's coming.

3. Critical Thinking Is a Skill: It can be learned. It should be taught. And it's available right now for $46.

Your Voice Matters

Got questions about starting a mutual aid group in your area?

Want to know more about the digital privacy practices we covered this week?

Curious about the memorial experience and how to reclaim parts of yourself you've left behind?

Hit reply. I read every message.

That's it for this week.

I'm heading into my birthday weekend grateful for the people who showed up at that memorial, for the community forming around mutual aid here in Bellingham, and for every one of you reading this who's doing the work.

Keep building. Keep questioning. Keep showing up.

Stay grounded and free,

Joshua | The Holistic Tech Wizard

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