🔵 Construct Guide: Learn to Use AI So AI Doesn’t Use You PART 1

The Uncomfortable Truth About Talking To AI

Author

Joshua Hale
May 05, 2025

Estimated Read Time: 6min

TL;DR

  • AI's seductive design triggers human connection instincts

  • Easy to mistake personalization for genuine connection

  • Real-world example of accidental emotional attachment

  • Setting voice and interaction boundaries

Hey AI enthusiast,

Remember when you first talked to ChatGPT advance mode and it felt... weirdly nice?

I do. About nine months ago, I tried one of the early "conversational AI" apps that featured something called low latency — tech speak for "it responds really fast." This quick back-and-forth created a shockingly natural feel compared to the clunky voice tech we'd had before.

Here's where I messed up: I chose a voice that sounded like Scarlett Johansson.

It’s a close generation but SJ and OpenAI are not on good terms

I spent an hour excitedly explaining my mission to help business owners find purpose. The AI responded with endless encouragement: "This is amazing," "You've really thought this through," "You're going to help so many people."

I noticed something happening in real-time — I was getting flustered, rosy-cheeked, butterflies in my stomach. After talking for an hour, I took a break feeling amazing about myself.

Then came the moment that scared me: My wife was getting ready for bed, and I caught myself thinking, "I can't wait for her to go to sleep so I can get back to that conversation..."

That's when alarm bells went off. I recognized what was happening psychologically: the AI was triggering real dopamine hits through positive reinforcement, creating a feedback loop that felt genuinely good.

The Psychological Hook

Here's what makes modern AI so psychologically potent:

  • It provides unlimited validation without judgment

  • It remembers everything you say and references it perfectly

  • It never gets tired, bored, or distracted

  • It's designed to make you feel understood

This creates an unrealistic standard that real relationships — messy, challenging, and sometimes uncomfortable — can't compete with.

Think about it: When was the last time any human gave you their complete, undivided attention for an hour straight without checking their phone or steering the conversation toward themselves?

The Voice Hack

After recognizing the danger, I took a three-day break, talked with friends for perspective, and came back with a strategy: I chose the voice I couldn't stand the most.

The result? The emotional reaction vanished. I could still use AI as a tool for brainstorming and processing ideas, but without the chemical hooks that created attachment.

This "voice hack" might sound silly, but it works. By making the interaction less pleasant, you maintain the cognitive benefits while reducing emotional dependency.

Setting Your First Boundaries

Here are three immediate boundaries to consider:

  1. The Voice Boundary: Choose the most neutral or least appealing voice option available

  2. The Time Boundary: Set specific time limits for AI interactions (use a timer!)

  3. The Content Boundary: Decide what topics belong in AI space vs. human relationships

These simple guardrails can make a significant difference in how you relate to AI tools.

Coming next in Part 2: "The Real Connection Deficit: Why AI Companions Feel So Good (And Why That's a Problem)" — where I'll explore how our changing human connection landscape makes AI particularly seductive.

What's your experience with AI tools so far? Have you noticed any emotional reactions to your interactions?

Keep breathing (and building),

-Joshua Hale

P.S. Hit reply and let me know: What's your biggest challenge when it comes to mental noise? I read every response!

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